March 12, 2013

How Many Stupid Things Can You Do In A Day?

How many stupid things can you do in one day? Two, so far, and counting.
This morning I go to get my driver's license renewed because I will be in China on my birthday (so excited!) and am leaving in just a couple weeks. And yay! only two people ahead of me in line (if you're downtown you MUST go to the Chicago Loop Express), so I get up to the counter and I'm all happy because for the last (at least) 15 years I've been carrying around this license with a picture where I look like a drunken troll. They keep automatically renewing it and each time I think, "No! Don't do that!" I even had it stolen once and thought finally, I'd get a new picture. But noooo...they just pulled up the old one right out of their ugly picture archives and reissued the damn license.
So there I am this morning and I haven't had a drop to drink and my hair's looking pretty good and I've been practicing my smile in the mirror all morning, and the woman behind the counter looks at my license and looks at me (probably thinking, "Honey, this is a badass picture), and she says, "Your license expires in 2014."
Why did I have it in my head it was this year? Wishful thinking, I suppose, but all I had to do was look at the damn (ugly) license.
So then I stop on the way home and grab some lunch and I give the guy a twenty and he hands me back a twenty. I look at it and I say, "What's this?" thinking he's going to say, "You're the 50th customer this morning so you get your lunch free," but instead he holds up the second twenty that I gave him that's still in his hand.
There is no free lunch.
At least he was honest. I would never have known.
Can I blame all this on the fact that I didn't sleep well last night? No, I didn't think so.
Have you done anything stupid today? It would make me feel so much better if you had.
So, two stupid things for me today. But the day's still young. I'll keep you posted.
Oh, oh, oh...I have one more. This didn't happen today, but there's no moratorium on stupid things. So last week I watched this fantastic Eagles documentary on Showtime and afterwards I ordered one of their newer CDs and when I got it yesterday I realized I already have it.
I hate shit like that.

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