Movie Review: Widows *

Movie Review: Widows

Dear Officer Aaron Huizenga

Dear Officer Aaron Huizenga,
Thank god you saved the streets of New Buffalo, MI last night from the threat of a 69-year-old woman from Chicago, driving a rental car with Arkansas plates, who had a glass of wine with dinner. I hope you feel good about yourself.
My friend Kathleen and I rented a car this weekend to drive to New Buffalo to see Chicago, the band (our 4th time seeing them in concert - we're aging groupies), at The Four Winds Casino (which has a nice theatre venue but is a disgusting place where gamblers are allowed to smoke indoors). But I digress.
After checking in to our hotel we had a really nice dinner at the Bentwood Tavern. We each had a cocktail before dinner, and then a glass of wine, and Kath asked if I wanted to share another glass of wine but I said no, I better not, I'm driving.
So then we head to the casino for our meet and greet with the band because we had front row, VIP seats for the concert which included a photo op (very cool, and fun). The casino is less than 4 miles from the restaurant and I'm driving along, in the right lane, looking for the turnoff when I see a police car with flashing lights in my rearview mirror. At first I don't think it's for me because I'm not speeding, but after a minute it's still there so I pull over. An officer comes up and I roll down the back window because it's a rental car and the controls are new to me, but then I roll down the driver's window and he asks for my license and registration. I tell him it's a rental car and ask why he stopped me. He says he ran the plate and it came back unregistered, or something like that, whatever that means. "Well, it's a rental," I say. "It's not mine." He does not say I was speeding, or I ran a stop sign or anything like that. I can only guess he ran those plates because I was in Michigan and the plates were from Arkansas.
He asks what we're doing in New Buffalo and we tell him. "Did you drive here directly from Chicago?" "No," I say, "we checked in to our hotel and had dinner." He asks if we had any liquor at dinner. I say yes, a glass of wine. Note: Okay, I don't mention the scotch, but later, when he's harassing me, I fess up.
He takes my license and goes back to his car and he's gone for a long time and Kathleen and I are looking at each other, not worried, but totally confused, wondering what's going on. Finally he comes back and asks me to get out of the car and for the next 20-30 minutes he scares the shit out of me, having me walk the white line, wanting me to balance on one foot, telling me do a finger coordination exercise, all of which I did.      
Meanwhile, Kathleen doesn't know what's going on or why it's taking so long, so she tries to find out but each time she opens her door he yells at her to shut the door and stay in the car.
So now I'm getting scared. I ask why he's doing this. He says he smelled alcohol when I opened the window. Liar. He also says because I rolled down the back window instead of the front when he came up to the car. "It's a rental car," I say. No matter. That must be the mark of a hardened criminal in New Buffalo, MI.
Then he wants me to take a breathalyzer, says it's Michigan law. I think that's bullshit too, but what do I know?
What would that show? I had a scotch and a glass of wine over the course of a couple of hours, what would my blood level be? I have no idea. I don't even know what the numbers are. I didn't feel drunk, I didn't even feel buzzed, but what would a breathalyzer show? I was terrified.
He says I can refuse to do it. "Is that what you want to do?" he asks. I ask what would happen then and he says, "This is where we are right now, ma'am. Are you telling me you want to refuse?"
I say no, I want to know what happens if I take it and what happens if I don't. He won't tell me.
Finally, another officer comes up, a woman, I don't know where she came from. She doesn't seem particularly sympathetic but she sees the state I'm in (because by now I'm crying) and she explains what would happen, which frankly I don't even remember and am not sure it even sunk in at the time, but I agree to take the breathalyzer and pass it and he tells me to get back in my car and he will bring me my license. More time goes by. He finally brings my license back and says I'm free to go.
What the fuck was that? Did he have a quota? Did he want to be the first guy on the block to arrest an old white woman for driving to a Chicago concert?
All I can say is thank god I'm not black - who knows what would have happened?
And to the New Buffalo Police Department, and to Officer Huizenga in particular, if you really want to save the streets of New Buffalo you could just go sit outside the casino when all those drinking, smoking gamblers get in their cars - you're sure to reach your quota then. And then some.
On a happy note, the concert was fantastic.
And you'll be happy to know that New Buffalo is a safe place now because you will never see me there again.

Movie Review: Bohemian Rhapsody ****

Don't read the critics' reviews of Bohemian Rhapdody. Listen to mine, and then go see it.

Movie Review: Bohemian Rhapsody