August 3, 2011

Alternative Energy Source

If I harnessed the energy from my hot flashes I could power the world. Cell phone out of juice? Plug me in. Need your laptop on a plane but your battery's low? For the price of a ticket you can take me along and boot up at will.
I've heard that by 2050 one-third of the world's energy will need to come from some renewable resource. Plan ahead...I'm your girl and I have a seemingly endless supply.
I have girlfriends my age who've never had the pleasure of experiencing a hot flash. If there was a god he'd spread them around, don't you think? I have way more than my share and I have to say, enough, already. You made your point.
So all you husbands out there...want to experience a hot flash? Just to see what it's like? Take one of mine. I have plenty to go around and they're free.
There's no cure for these damn things, except being EVEN OLDER than I am now and that just doesn't seem fair. Where's the upside in that?
Wouldn't you think they could just zap a little segment in my brain and end this madness? Well, until that happens my remedy is to drink copious amounts of wine. It doesn't stop my hot flashes but then I just don't give a shit.


kayak said...

Let's have another drink to Not Giving a Shit !

Jan said...

Amen sister!!! I've been suffering with them for almost 10 years now!! And needless to say, the horrible weather we've been having here in Cleveland for the past FREAKIN TWO MONTHS has not helped any. If any man would like to experience this, just preheat your oven to 500 degrees, wait for it to reach full heat and then stick your head in.

Samantha Hoffman said...

LOL, Jan - perfect description. But you forgot the part about basting with the drippings.
Okay, who's got my wine?