Ten Thoughts to Ponder

This came into my inbox this morning. I don't usually even read this stuff but for some reason I did, and it just made me laugh.

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry & Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky--not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

and...the number 1 thought - Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Wonder What Goes on in Retirement Communities?

Next thing you know they'll be dancing to Thriller.

Advice To Writers from Molly Campbell

Molly Campbell is my favorite blogger. She's the Erma Bombeck of blogging. No, really...she actually won the Erma Bombeck Writer's Competition. She's a very clever lady with a unique and funny perspective on life. And a great writer.

ADVICE TO WRITERS
I am not a famous author. I am not really a famous blogger, either; however, I have convinced my neighbors and some people on twitter that I am. Since I have achieved this rarefied celebrity status all by myself, with the help of a laptop computer and Jack Dorsey, Al Gore, Mark Zuckerberg, and several thousand business cards randomly left on restaurant tables and in dental waiting rooms, I feel ready to distill advice to those of you readers out there who want to be just like me, or maybe even better. I can help you do this. I have been posting my thoughts and feelings into cyberspace on a very regular basis for over three years. This gives me the credibility I need to call myself a writer. Oh yeah, and I have won a writing prize, gotten a job blogging for somebody else, and I am writing a book. So listen up, all you wannabes!
Click here to read the rest of the article.

Movie Review: Super 8

Super 8 is a movie about kids but it's not a kid's movie. I mean it's great for kids but it's as much a movie for adults. It's also about an alien being but it's not science fiction.
It's 1979 and a group of kids are at a train station shooting their own zombie movie, not on a Flip Camera but with a regular old movie camera and sound equipment. They accidentally record the crash of a truck into an oncoming train and then the action begins.
Incidentally, the guy driving the truck doesn't die, and okay...that takes some effort to suspend disbelief but it's a small point.
It's really an intelligent script. It's been compared to ET and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and it certainly pays homage to those films but it's its own movie. The performances by all the kids are great, especially by new kid Joel Courtney as Joe, and Elle Fanning as Alice. The best part of her performance is the performance within the performance, when they're making the movie. But I love the chemistry between her and the Joe character. And I always like Kyle Chandler.
The music's gorgeous, perfect for the time, and I loved the camera work, especially the shots when they're in the holding area.
Oh, my other nit to pick (you know I always have something) is the kid with the braces - I'm sure he doesn't have braces in real life. He seems to have an extra set of braces-encased teeth over his own, and he can barely speak, his mouth is so full. Weird.
But all in all it's a well-done movie that grabs you and holds you until the end. I loved it.
4-1/2 out of five stars for Super 8.

So Much To Do in Chicago

Okay, here's my weekend so far: yesterday I went to see OVO, the new Cirque du Soleil show. I'm crazy for Cirque du Soleil but have to say this wasn't my favorite, although there were some wonderful things, especially the last act. On my way home I stopped by Millennium Park to listen to the free concert in the park. What other city does that? God, what a lovely thing.
Today I went to the Michigan Ave. Art Festival which is a fantastic display of creativity, and I got there before the full blast of heat of the day, which is even more fantastic, and ran into my friend Carolyn Durocher (dancer extraordinaire - left). Then I stopped at Bandera on Michigan Ave. for
a glass of wine and the Hacked Chicken Salad (delicious!) and then stopped once more for a gelato - some chocolate-y, caramel-y, espresso confection. Oh my god. Need I say more? I need a nap and it's only 12:30.
I may see a movie this afternoon, then I'm going to need another nap because I'm doing the L.A.T.E. Ride with my friend Joann, which is a bike ride through Chicago neighborhoods that starts at 1 a.m. Yes, you heard me correctly: 1:00 a.m.! OMG. What was I thinking?
Tomorrow, other than sleeping, I'm going to see the play Bug, by Tracey Letts with my friend Claire, and there's still the Gold Coast Art Fair to do.
Holy crap, how will I fit it all in? Are you exhausted?
Sophie Tucker is - here's how she reacted when I recounted it all to her.

Movie Review: The Tree of Life

WTF???
Nothing happens in this movie. NOTHING. There's an opening sequence that lasts at least half an hour (could have been 45 min. - I don't know for sure, I nodded off for part of it) of nature shots; oceans, flowers, amoeba, dinosaurs... This is an excellent opportunity to get popcorn, refill your Coke or use the washroom. I counted four people who left and never returned during this part. Oddly enough I stayed for the entire 2 hours and 18 minutes and I have no explanation for that. I guess I thought there was going to be a big payoff. Let me just say,
there isn't.
There's very little dialogue, only breathless, whispery voices asking spiritual questions. There's no plot, no real story. There's something about grace and nature, which I suppose is the central theme but you'll have to ask someone else what all that means.
I usually agree with Michael Phillips but he shockingly gave this film 3 1/2 stars (out of 4). For a completely different take read his review in the Trib.
For me? Zero out of five stars for The Tree of Life.
If you want to see a really, really good movie go see Super 8. Review to come.

Women Are Crazy Because Men Are Assholes

Okay, that's not my personal commentary (is it?), it's the name of a play I saw at The Mercury Theater which, unfortunately for you, is no longer there.
It's a great show, the story of five couples who get together for brunch to meet Nicole's new boyfriend, Dylan, the love of her life, the man she's going to marry. Unfortunately they've never met. They've had a two-month relationship but the it's all been online.
And if that isn't enough material for two hours each couple has its own issues to make fun of. There's a little something for everyone: commitment-phobes, lesbian love, three-way sex...it's all there.
Here's what the program says: This is the last reasonable thing any of them will do for the day (referring to coming to the brunch). Secrets will be screamed, sex will be weaponized, and sanity will have its throat sliced.
They are assholes, they are crazy. Try to love them anyway.
There's so much laughter from the audience you just know you've missed some sure-to-be-great lines. If it were still here I'd see it again, hoping to catch those. If it comes back, you have to go with me!