April 17, 2012

What Not To Wear When You're Over 50

Maybe Jane Fonda can get away with wearing ripped-up jeans, an off-the-shoulder blouse and a funky fedora, at 72. Can she? You be the judge. Here's my vote: NO! There are certain clothes that are too young for anyone over 30, let alone 72, and shredded jeans are on the list. She's gorgeous, no question, and in great shape. But the jeans just look stupid.
And even if you think she looks great the fact is most women of a certain age shouldn't wear that kind of stuff. So what to wear when you're over 50?
If you look good in it and you're comfortable, wear it. Great advice, right? The only problem with that is some older women think they look good in things like leggings and short skirts. Obviously they don't own a full-length mirror, which I completely understand - the older I get the less I want to look in a mirror. 
But you need to look, ladies. And here's a little free advice: be sure to look at yourself from behind. If you're over 50, chances are good your ass isn't where you remember it and if you're wearing something clingy the whole world will know it.
Even if you're thin, things happen to your body after 50; parts droop, rolls appear, skin sags, spots show up...believe me it's endless and ugly. And thank god for clothes. The right clothes hide a multitude of sins and make us look fit and youthful and appealing, no matter what's underneath. So what are the right clothes?
Well, I'm no arbiter of fashion but here's my short list of what not to wear if you're over 50:
1. Leggings, even with a butt-covering top
2. Mini-skirts
4. Short shorts
4. Low-cut blouses (who wants to look at wrinkled cleavage?)
5. Anything that exposes your belly (I mean, really...what are you thinking?) 
So what's left, you might ask. Shirtwaist and pearls, anyone?  


Amy said...

I posted a comment on this essay & it ended up somewhere else. WTF?

Love and agree. Madonna needs a clue too.

Samantha Hoffman said...

Where'd it go, Amy?!
I bet we could come up with a whole bunch of examples, don't you think?