December 23, 2010

A Jewish Christmas

Yes, I'm Jewish, but I don't care if you tell me to have a merry Christmas cuz the day will be very merry, indeed. I didn't have to agonize over the perfect gifts for my goyishe family, I didn't have to move furniture to put up a huge outdoor plant in my indoor living room, or worry that the lights would spontaneously combust the dry needles. I have no decorations to bring out and pack away after enjoying them for fifteen minutes. I don't have to wear a sweater with a big Santa on it and my cat doesn't have to wear antlers.
As a Jew, I get to enjoy a day at the movie theatre and then go out for Chinese food. No stress, no fighting the crowds in the stores...just lots of good cheer (read: alcohol) and those yummy chocolate covered strawberries my Jewish sister sent me for Christmas (well, she's married to a goy so she's an equal-opportunity celebrator).
So, I'll have a very merry Christmas and I hope you do too. Don't forget to get out your socks with the reindeer on them.

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