Senior-Citizen Supermodels

The other day I watched an Oprah show where she interviewed some senior-citizen supermodels. Okay, Stephanie Seymour is only 42 so she doesn't count. But the others were Cheryl Tiegs (63), Beverly Johnson (59) and Christie Brinkley (57). At one point Oprah asks them how they feel when they walk into a room and know that all eyes are on them, and Christie Brinkley says, "If people are looking at me I'm completely convinced that it's because I've got toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe." Oh, bullshit, Christie. How stupid do you have to be not to know you're beautiful? Even if you have a lousy self-image you've been on thousands of magazine covers for the last 30 years. Why do you think that is?
I hate false humility.
Beverly Johnson owned right up to it. She said yes, she's totally aware of it. And she's mad if they're not looking. Okay, now THAT I believe.
And then there's Cheryl Tiegs. Don't even get me started on her. Oh, never mind, I'll get myself started - she's been botox'd and collagen'd up the yin yang and who knows what else she's had done but she looks scary, creepy and lumpy. It's very sad. And god knows I'm not knocking plastic surgery. If you can afford it and it makes you feel better, go for it. But really...keep it real. And then own up to it. Oprah didn't really address the plastic surgery issue in detail (what's up with that, O?), it was more like a brief philosophical discussion, at which time Cheryl Tiegs dis'd people who have plastic surgery and said you should work on what's inside.
She's working on what's inside. she's working on what's inside that syringe that's injecting who knows what inside her lips and inside her cheeks and inside her forehead.

Dreams Do Come True!

These are words I've waited my whole life to say: (drum roll, please...) I have a book deal with St. Martin's Press , one of the biggest publishers in the world, who will be publishing my book Mr. Right-Enough (title subject to change) next year.
OH. MY. GOD.
This is my dream come true, a dream I've had ever since Mrs. Allen read my short story aloud to the class in third grade.
The pub date won't be until next year, it will have a different title and there are some revisions to do...but this is big time, and I am enormously thrilled and honored.
So, the moral of this story is don't ever give up on your dreams. In the immortal words of that famous philosopher Justin Bieber, "NEVER SAY NEVER."
It's not too late to realize your dreams.
Stay tuned for publication details.

BTW, I'm hard at work on my next book, and no...it won't be a sequel!

P.S. Why does the Bieb-ster do that with his hair? Someone should tell him it looks suspiciously like a comb-over.

I Love Marjoram!

OH. MY. GOD. You have to make this dish with the marjoram. It's amazing. Worth spending the money on the fresh marjoram in the politically-incorrect plastic container. Worth throwing out the 90% you won't use. Yum!


Pasta with Sausage, Peppers & Marjoram
Serves two

1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 lb hot Italian sausages, casings removed (three links)
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1/2 medium onion or 1 large shallot, chopped
2 teaspoons chopped fresh marjoram
1 pint cherry tomatoes
salt and pepper
1 handful spaghetti
3 ounces goat cheese

Start a large pot of salted water to boil.

Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium heat. Add the olive oil, then sauté the sausage (casings removed, remember), breaking it up into bits, until browned, about 5 minutes. Add pepper and onion, then sauté 10-12 minutes or until soft and the onions are golden. Stir in the marjoram and tomatoes, and sauté 5-10 minutes until the tomatoes get squishy, then crush them with your spoon.

Meanwhile, cook the spaghetti in the boiling water until al dente. Drain, reserving a little cooking water.

If the skillet is large enough, add the spaghetti to the skillet. If not, return the cooked spaghetti and sausage/pepper mixture to the pot. Add the crumbled goat cheese and stir to blend, thinning with cooking water if necessary. Transfer pasta to plates and enjoy.

Hmmm...I just realized I forgot to put in the goat cheese. It was still amazing. So use it or not, but let me know if you use the goat cheese and how it tastes.

What the Heck Do You Do With Marjoram?

The other day I came home from the grocery store and pulled out the package of thyme I bought, all ready to put it in the corn chowder I was making and lo and behold, it wasn't thyme at all, it was marjoram. How the heck did that happen? And what the heck do you do with marjoram?
Crap!
I spend a fortune on those little politically-incorrect plastic containers of fresh herbs and then I use about one 86th of whatever it is and the rest turns into slimy seaweed in my fridge. It's very annoying.
Anyway, marjoram is very fragrant, I can tell you that (read: it stinks). I tasted a bit of it raw and it has a very medicinal taste (read: ick). But I hate waste. So I spent some time online (isn't the Internet just such a miracle - years ago I'd have had to look it up in an encyclopedia and then I still wouldn't have known what to do with it) and I picked out two recipes that call for marjoram. I'm making one tonight and I'll make one tomorrow. And that'll use about one 86th of what's in the little politically-incorrect plastic container that'll end up in a landfill somewhere and then in a few days I'll throw out the slimy shit that the unused marjoram has become.

The Civil Union Bill

Hooray for Gov. Pat Quinn, who signed the civil union bill into law. This is long overdue, not just for same sex couples, but (not incidentally) for heterosexual couples, those in committed relationships who don't choose to get married.
I'm not a big proponent of gay marriage, just because I don't think we need to redefine marriage. Fact is, I'm not a big proponent of marriage in general (unless you're planning on having children), but I'm a big proponent of equal rights. And I think all couples - gay, straight, white, black, married or not - should have the same rights under the law.

Last Update of the Big-Ass Blizzard of 2011

Okay, here's what it's like to live in a high-rise during a snow/wind/lightning/thunder storm.

It's over now although there are still more than 200 cars stranded on Lake Shore Drive. The sun came out for a while today, more sunshine to come tomorrow although the temps are going below zero tonight.
Now it's digging out time.
It may be noisy in a high-rise but at least I don't have to shovel.

Big-ass Snowstorm of 2011

Okay, here it is, the end-of-the-world, big-ass Chicago blizzard of 2011 that the media has been hyping for days. This is the view from my window on the 22nd floor, downtown Chicago, near the lake.

My friend Sidney dubbed it SNOWMAGEDDON.
And here's an update at 9:00 p.m., complete with lightning and thunder: