So I was having dinner with a friend and here's how she ordered: "You know how when you order a Caesar salad you can add shrimp to it? Well, I don't want the Caesar, I want the cucumber and tomato salad but I want to add shrimp to that, can you do that?" "Yes," said the waiter. "But I only want shrimp if they're from Mexico, where are they from? Cuz I don't want them if they're from Viet Nam or some other third world country. Are they from Viet Nam?" He didn't know but would check. "Okay, but then I don't want the red wine vinaigrette. I want vinegar and oil instead but I don't want regular vinegar, I want balsamic."
The waiter said, "If the shrimp are from Viet Nam do you still want the salad?"
"Yes, just no shrimp. Oh, and could you bring some olive oil and cheese for the bread?" she said as she sat there pulling the guts out of the bread and eating only the crust.
Here's how I ordered: "I'll have the ribbon pasta with the veal ragu."