Never Argue With a Woman Who Reads

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. 

Along comes a fish and game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?" 

"Reading a book," she replies, thinking, isn't that obvious? 

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. 

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." 

"Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." 

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. 

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. 

"That's true," says the woman, "but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." 

"Have a nice day ma'am," he says and leaves. 

MORAL:  Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. 

Robocalling/Telemarketing - What's the Difference?

Thank god the primary is tomorrow. I'm fed up with the robocalls and political crap-mail. I've never received so much. Ever. Probably not even if you tallied up every political call/political mail I've ever received in my lifetime.
Why, do you think? Why this year?
And why don't political calls count as telemarketing? I suppose because they're not asking for money but really, legislators need to rethink this. ADD THEM TO THE DO NOT CALL REGISTRY.
I've only voted in one primary in my whole life. The reason? I don't like having to declare a party. I virtuously consider myself an independent. And with pride I would tell you that I actually voted for a Republican for president. Once. I won't tell you who because it's so embarrassing.
That aside, I'm open to being impressed by a Republican. Really. I am. Thing is, the chances of that are so slim. Particularly this year because, truly, is there a candidate who turns you people on? 
Rick Santorum? Please. With all his talk of Satan...can you take him seriously?
Mitt Romney?  He's cute. And I'm all for cute but is he cute enough to be president? I'm thinking not.
Newt? Well, there's no cuteness factor there. He's smart and that's a good thing, but does he have a shot in hell?
I may or may not vote tomorrow. I actually did download the ballot so there's  a possibility. And I'm an independent, of course, so it may be a last minute decision which ballot to ask for. Oh, oops...did I forget to download the Republican ballot?

I Need To Do A Book Video

But how do I compete with this?? Does anyone have a horse I can borrow?

Tasteful Nudes by Dave Hill: The Incredible Music Video - watch more funny videos

Cute Cat Video

This is very amusing even if you're not a cat lover. About 20 seconds is all you need to watch because nothing else happens, but check it out.

How to Pre-Order Your Copy of What More Could You Wish For

It's easy! You can order a print or Kindle copy online at Amazon.com or Barnes&Noble, or click on the IndieNext logo to find an independent book seller near you.
Simple, right?

Cookies to Die For. And Easy.

Okay, these are so delicious and the easiest damn cookies ever. But there's a catch. 

See that picture, how pretty they look? Well mine don't look like that and I should have taken a picture when they came out of the oven because it was like an asphalt road of lace cookies. Here's the thing…when you're putting them on the cookie sheets make them really tiny, even smaller than you think you should, and be sure to place them reeeeeaaaally far apart because they spread like a son-of-a-bitch.

So mine don't look beautiful but if you tried one you WOULD NOT CARE. They are heavenly.

Make them. Now.

Chocolate and Coconut Lace Cookies 

• 3/4 cup light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup sweetened, flaked coconut
• 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
• 1/4 cup flour
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt
• 1 (4-ounce) bar bittersweet (62 percent cacao) chocolate, chopped into 1/2-inch pieces

Place an oven rack in the center of the oven. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners. Set aside.

In a large bowl, mix together the sugar, coconut, melted butter, flour, vanilla, and salt.

Using a 1/2-ounce cookie scoop or a tablespoon, scoop 6 balls of dough, 3 to 4 inches apart, on each baking sheet. Lightly flatten the tops of the dough. Cook until golden, 8 to 10 minutes. Allow the cookies to cool on the parchment paper, about 15 minutes.

Place the chocolate in a bowl and place over a pan of barely simmering water. (I melted the chocolate in the microwave - just be sure not to over-do it.) Stir until the chocolate has melted. Using a fork, (a spoon works better) drizzle the tops of the cookies with the melted chocolate. Freeze the cookies until the chocolate has set, about 5 minutes. Remove the cookies from the freezer and store in an airtight container at room temperature. Cook's Note: If the cookies have baked into one another use a knife or metal spatula to separate the cookies (this is a joke - make them tiny and avoid trying to separate them).  Then allow to cool.

A Mug of Chocolate Cake??

I haven't made this yet but I couldn't help sharing it because the picture is so beautiful and it looks so easy. It's for those days when you HAVE TO HAVE something sweet (most days, for me) and there's nothing in the house.
It's chocolate cake for one, done in a microwave, for pete's sake!
Try it. Let me know how it is. Or better yet, I'LL make it and let YOU know!
And check out the great blog: SomeKitchenStories where I found it.