Dear Job Applicant...

Dear job applicant, 
If you're looking for a position outside of your field of expertise, I get that - I've been in that position myself (a hundred years ago). 
But you're going to need to sell me. If you send me a resume for a customer service position and your only job experience is the drive-thru at Burger King, write a kick-ass cover letter showing me how that experience translates to my position. I promise you'll get a phone call.

And here are my top 10 tips for job seekers:

1. Create a resume that’s easy to read, concise (bullet points are always helpful) and professional-looking. Avoid large blocks of run-on text. I will not read them.
2. Put your resume in a professional format. If you can’t use Word, have your eight-year-old do it for you. Do not put your picture and/or graphics on your resume.
3. Don’t list photocopying as a skill on your resume.
4. Do not put three phone numbers on your resume. Unless you are Barack Obama or George Clooney I’m not going to chase you down. Give me one number to call and make sure you check it for messages.
5. If the ad says send a cover letter, send a friggin' cover letter.
6. In your cover letter, omit the phrase, “I am excited about your position…,” particularly when you’re over 25. Your excitement is of no interest to me.
7. Don't grill me about the company in the phone interview. There's an assumption you actually read the ad you applied to - don't burst my bubble.
8. When you're going on an interview, be on time. Do I really have to say this? If you have a problem, call me to let me know you're going to be late. 
9. When you go on an interview dress as if you care. Even if you’re interviewing for cashier at the Stop ‘n Go, wear business attire, meaning a jacket and tie for men and a suit or dress for women.
10. If you’re looking for a job, clear your damn voice mailbox. If I call you and get a message that says your “mailbox is full, please call again later,” you can be assured I will not be calling again later.