November 30, 2012

Kick-ass Programming

Have you tried to call an airline in recent times regarding something other than reservations? Well, good luck getting anyone other than R2D2. If you call American Airlines you go through, oh, maybe 92 prompts. First they say, "If you want reservations press 1, if you want blah blah blah press 2, and so on. And since it's an oddball question it's not until the 92nd option when it says, "If it's something else press 3027960." So you press 3027960 and then it gives you 60 more options and then you press 45985 and it gives you 85 more options.
You get the idea. Do I have to spell F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-N-G?
Seven hours and twenty minutes later I finally get to a message that tells me I have to go to the website and send a friggin' email.
After I swept up the shards of glass that scattered when I threw the phone through the window I went to the website and found a place where I could ask a question of  "Alex" in real time. Cool! There's Alex on the right. Isn't she pretty? Doesn't she look like she's dying to help me?
So I typed in my question and imagine my surprise when Alex actually speaks to me (she also types in case you turn off her annoying voice). But (I'm so shocked) her answer has nothing to do with my question. Somehow the only thing recognizable to Alex (and her programmer) was "first class" so Alex tells me to click here for first class amenities. Like I don't know all those amenities I never get when I fly with the unwashed masses.
So I type: "This answer doesn't answer my question, ALEX!" and she says: "I'm sorry that I'm having trouble answering your question."
Stupid bitch.
And I type: "You are useless."
And Alex says, "I"m sorry you feel that way..." which just cracked me up and I have to say I have a grudging respect for the programmer who created her responses. I never did get my answer but I laughed for a long while at that one. I wonder what she would have said if I'd typed  "fuck you" which is what I really wanted to do.

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