OMG, how can we ever possibly know what to eat and what not to eat? Whatever's good for you today will almost certainly ravage you with cancer tomorrow. Carb-free, gluten-free, grapefruit diet, Atkins, watercress soup diet (I bet that's really satisfying)...and then there's the air diet where you put food on your plate and pretend to put it in your mouth and pretend to chew. Yeah, that'll work.
Or you could try the Alicia Silverstone diet. Chew the food but don't swallow it. Instead, spit it into your baby's mouth. Don't have a baby? I have a new business: Rent-a-Carb-Receptive-Baby.
All I know is carbs are my favorite food group. There are supposedly carbs in toothpaste. Okay, I'll give up toothpaste. But bread? Wine? Chocolate chunk oatmeal cookies? No ma'am.
Anyway, after you watch the creepy "pre-masticating" video (I shudder to think what's next) read Molly Campbell's very funny post about carbs (below).
In Praise of Carbs by Molly Campbell
For those of you who are regular readers of my blog (and I think
there are at least ten of you), you know that I am not to be taken
seriously. Occasionally, I am semi-serious. So before you go any
further, please take note of this. Nutritionists, scientists, Stephen
Hawking, and Dr. Oz, if you are going to read any further, I really
don’t solicit comments from you and your colleagues.
That said, I want to tell you about some research I have noticed on
the web recently. According to many health and diet gurus who are
desperately concerned about the morbidly obese, oh, and I guess the rest
of us schlubs, the reason we all have spare tires and worse is due to carbohydrates. For those of you in my group of ten faithful readers who need a definition, a carb
(we are very chummy, so I can abbreviate) is anything that converts to
sugar in your bloodstream. This means that a carb is basically anything
Read the rest of Molly's very funny post