Last night's Academy Awards show gets the Oscar for the most boring show in history. It's the kind of show I wished I'd taped so I could have fast forwarded through the interminable parts. Which was most of it.
Where was Hugh Jackman? Wasn't he supposed to be the host? His few bits weren't particularly good, his musical numbers weren't relevant. Not his fault, he's very charming and talented (not to mention extraordinarily handsome) but his material sucked. His shtick on Benjamin Button was pretty stupid but I have to say I laughed when his head appeared above the baby doll. I hated the bit where they had five previous winners, each speaking to a nominee. It could have been good, I liked that the winners were up there, but didn't they just go on forever? Show clips of the movie for god's sake, and move on. Oh, and don't you think Halle Berry had some work done? Too bad.
Tina Fey and Steve Martin were very funny.
Ben Stiller was not but Natalie Portman was gorgeous.
Poor Jennifer Aniston having to be up there with Jack Black. And then they cut away to Angelina Jolie while Jen's speaking. How tacky.
And would Heath Ledger have won if he wasn't dead?
And now for the clothes, the most important part of any awards ceremony. It was certainly the year for pleats and petals and overlays and special effects, wasn't it?
Jessica Beal (what the hell was she wearing???), Sophia Loren (in that lemon parfait dress with 80s hair), Tilda Swinton (is she an alien being?), Mickey Rourke (he is definitely an alien being but I really wanted him to win for The Wrestler), Kate Winslett (in that gunmetal gray gown with a Flintstones hairdo - but I did love it when she told her dad to "whistle or something" so she'd know where they were, and he did...very cute), Sarah Jessica Parker (she wore breasts, with a Cinderella gown underneath...and that hair...), Reese Witherspoon (uncharacteristically hideous dress), Phillip Seymour Hoffman (nice hat). And I wouldn't say Goldie Hawn was worst dressed (not great, I admit but not horrible) but I would say she was worst faced. What has she done?
Jennifer Aniston, Tina Fey, that woman who won last year for Ma Vie en Rose, Taraji P. Henson (she was in Benjamin Button as the woman who raised him - she was GORGEOUS), Robert Downey, Jr., Sean Penn (I loved how he admitted he makes it difficult for people to appreciate him, but why didn't he thank his wife?). And I'm going to give honorable mention to Marisa Tomei who looked gorgeous even though she should have had the bottom third of that dress chopped off.